DEAR ABBY: I met my spouse after we have been very younger and into partying. We’re now middle-aged and heading in several instructions.
I concentrate on bodily and psychological well-being. I work out every day, eat wholesome and keep a constructive angle. She spends her free time mendacity round, consuming, smoking and always exposing herself to negativity by means of the web. She’s now on medicine for despair and anxiousness.
My makes an attempt at dialogue are principally met with anger and defensiveness or are dismissed as “a nasty time to speak.” I really feel we’ve got reached a crossroads in our well being. I would like her to be as match and wholesome as potential so we will get pleasure from our golden years collectively. How do I get her to hitch me in a more healthy life-style earlier than it is too late? — WILLING IN WASHINGTON
DEAR WILLING: Your spouse could have reached a fork within the highway of her life. In case your description is correct, you might be dwelling with a girl who’s depressed, indignant, defensive, anxious and self-destructive.
A option to get her to hitch you in a more healthy life-style could be to persuade her that her personal path to wellness will start with consulting a psychological well being skilled earlier than it’s too late and the injury she is doing to herself turns into irreversible. While you do, be certain she is aware of you might be saying it since you love her and need to get pleasure from an extended and joyful life together with her — one thing that’s clearly not taking place for her proper now. If she nonetheless refuses, then proceed doing what you are doing, recognizing you can’t save somebody who refuses to assist herself.
DEAR ABBY: My finest pal is retired and alone, as am I. She not too long ago moved subsequent door so we will help one another if wanted.
Since COVID, we really feel secure seeing one another as a result of we by no means exit in public locations and all our buying is finished with supply or curbside pickup. She does not wish to prepare dinner, however I like to, so most evenings she’s invited to dinner. She comes over about 4 occasions per week and often takes house the leftovers for the opposite nights.
What bothers me is I often eat dinner on the similar time, and I remind her of it every time I invite her, but she’s invariably late. At first it was only a minute or two, but it surely’s getting later and later. Tonight I waited 20 minutes for her.
I time my dishes to the minute, and I like my meals sizzling and never overcooked. I do not need to make an enormous deal out of this, however I am turning into more and more irritated. Any recommendations on how I can get the message throughout with out jeopardizing our friendship? — FRESH MEALS IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR FRESH: Your pal could also be disorganized or simply plain inconsiderate. The following time you invite her, inform her that since you like your dinner sizzling — and never overcooked — you’ll begin consuming on the appointed time and now not proceed to attend for her. You do not have to be imply about it, simply agency, after which comply with by means of.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.